Love is a ubiquitous pursuit. It’s in our commercials, our music, our TV dramas, and, of course, our personal lives. A cursory Internet search will give you a ton of romantic advice. “Wear this niche Portuguese perfume and be irresistible!” “Get ripped and date any girl you want, bro.” “When a light goes out, fix the light bulb, don’t buy a new house. “Men/women are like busses: there’s another one every 20 minutes.” “Don’t be too eager.” “Don’t play games.” Time to wade through this sea of conflicting advice. It is our opinion here at Ring Cam that all of these guidelines can be reduced to one maxim, the Holy Grail of romantic advice. I have at my disposal two words that can be applied to all romantic relationships, with great results. Are you ready for this hot take?
MIND. BLOWN. I just saved you thousands of dollars worth of therapy and possibly much more in divorce attorney fees. You’re welcome.
Yes, it’s cliche. Yes, it’s trite. It might as well be a fortune cookie. None of this negates the value of this input. Still, it’s important to note that we’re not advocating a life of hermit-like solitude, a Funions-based diet, and poor grooming habits. If you think you can do the former and then suddenly date a model, you’re on the wrong blog. Self-actualization does have its own unique advantages, however. Ring Cam proudly presents three reasons why you should just calm down and be yourself.
1. No one likes a try hard.
Have you ever seen a guy at a bar bragging about how much money he makes to the girl he’s trying to impress? Know a girl who’s always talking about all of the guys who like her or flirt with her? Do you like these people? No. 9 times out of 10, you don’t enjoy their presence. Generally speaking, they’re compensating for their own insecurities with generous helpings of braggadocio.Their false bravado does not help endear them, but it’s not the thin veneer of confidence that makes these characters so nauseating. It’s the almost palpable insecurity and their resulting need for your validation that alienates those they meet. Spending time with consistently and irreversibly insecure people is stressful. If they are romantically interested in you, that stress is exacerbated. They aren’t merely interested in their love interests. They NEED the validation. They can’t handle rejection, conflict, or unpleasantness in any form. No healthy adult wants to be with a person who always tries to impress them and keep them pampered. It’s just exhausting. This isn’t high school anymore.
2. Being yourself simplifies the dating process.
Pretending to be someone you aren’t to land a date with that person who’s out of your league is a recipe for disaster. Imagine telling her that you’re really into football because she is and then proving incapable of naming more than three players in the NFL. At some point, the truth comes out. You can only wear the hardened action-star facade for so long. Sooner or later, they’ll learn that you like Britney Spears. If that’s what you’re into, there’s nothing wrong with that. But honesty from the get-go heads off awkward discoveries like this. Do you want to spend countless hours in insufferably bad slam poetry readings?Impressing that cute hipster is not worth it. Throw in the towel, buddy, and let her know just how much of a philistine you really are. You’ll be happier for it.
3. Confidence is attractive.
Self-acceptance is calming and puts others at ease immediately. Show up to the first date rocking your Bronies T-shirt. Tell them your unpopular opinions. (“Cheerleading is not a sport unless it’s competitive and even then, it’s a maybe at best.”) Confidently own your doozy of a mistake. Laugh at yourself and laugh at them. This endearing and laid-back type of confidence works because it’s rooted in a well-established sense of self. Trying to be confident while doing something you hate is soul-crushingly brutal. Know who you are, know who you aren’t, and go forward.
This is not to say that dating and romance are open-and-shut ventures, but true acceptance of your defining character and personality is a prerequisite to romantic success. Chasing people for love and validation without being a secure and self-aware adult will not pan out. I can guarantee that. Be yourself, find someone who loves you for you, and use a Ring Cam to capture the proposal. That’s the dream.