- It’s all a big misunderstanding.
Thank whatever god you believe in if your family-girlfriend trouble can be categorized as such. This is the best situation. Maybe it was some off-handed comment your mom made. Inversely, maybe your girlfriend’s bitter that she wasn’t invited by your parents to Thanksgiving. The point is, this is salvageable. You can make this work if all parties are willing to try.
Game Plan: Butter up your family and girl. Tell them that a second chance is in order. Then, follow it up with a nice event. Maybe your family hasn’t had the chance to hang out with this amazing woman. Moreover, a nice dinner and some good conversation is just the ticket to fix this. Thank your stars that this can be so easily patched up. Our next examples are not so fortunate.
- They don’t think she’s right for you.
This is a tougher situation. Our previous example was more situational. Maybe they genuinely liked her, but there was some little misunderstanding that complicated things. That’s nothing compared to this situation. If your family thinks she’s not right for you, no number of Thanksgivings and no amount of small talk can convince them otherwise.
Game plan: You’re gonna have to sit the fam down and shoot straight. Tell them that you respect their opinions, but you feel some type of way for this girl. Let them know just how happy you are to have this amazing woman at your side. It might be awkward and uncomfortable. But your family will come around when they see how passionate you are about this woman. You might not change their minds, but you’ll remind them that it is first and foremost your life. Remember, your parents are already married. That’s how you happened, after all.
- They REALLY don’t think she’s right for you.
If the second option isn’t good, this is bad. It’s essentially the evolved version of option 2. If option 2 is Charmeleon, option three is Charizard. (You’re welcome, Pokemon fans.) In this scenario, your parents probably just aren’t budging on this. If they’re this vehemently against your gal joining the family, it probably has something to do with religion, politics, or lifestyle. Good luck trying to get them to see reason when any of those topics are involved. Conflict is kind of inevitable if your parents are West-Coast Marxists and you bring home a gun-toting Southern belle who has a picture of Reagan in her wallet,
Game plan: Like scenario 2, you’ll need to shoot straight, but maybe with a little more vigor. They need to understand that this is what you want. That being said, you should ask your parents WHY they’re so against welcoming this girl into their family. Maybe there’s an easy fix to this situation. Consequentially, feedback might be your chance to make the situation better.
Here are some things to consider throughout this process
- Your parents love you.
- Your girl loves you.
- Be sure to listen to all parties involved to figure out how to remedy this unpleasantness.
- If there really is no fix, it’s important to remember that YOU are in complete control of who you marry. If you know this woman is the one, then your parents really can’t do anything to stop the wedding. (I mean, I guess they could cause a scene at the ceremony, but they PROBABLY won’t do that.)
Godspeed, man. You’re in a tough spot, but you can do it. It may take some work, but odds are you can make this work. If she really is the one for you, it’ll all work out.