Some might read the title of this post and automatically think woah woah what the…? No way do I want my ex at my wedding! This is about celebrating my current relationship, not the old ones that didn’t work out. But others might be contemplating over the idea of having their ex’s attend as a guest. If this is you, then continue reading.

Invite your ex if:

It was a childhood/middle school/high school relationship that is totally drama-free, over, and even laughable now

Most people have had some sort of childhood relationship that didn’t really mean anything and is just cute and funny to think about now. Some people can stay good friends with their exes after breaking up. You two might still run in the same circles together if you work together, live near each other or have other mutual friends still. If it is completely over and drama-free then you could probably invite your ex, only if…

Everyone else is COMPLETELY comfortable with it!

        In this situation, you need to think about how your fiancé will feel. If he/she does not want your ex breaking it down to the Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling” on the dance floor at your wedding then maybe you should consider not sending the invite. You need to think about how this could affect your partner, your partner’s parents, your parents and closest friends and family. If you are even the slightest bit worried about how these people will react then maybe it is best to cut your ex from the guest list.

Your ex is a former spouse and you have children together

        This is a trickier one, but if you were once married chances are you two should not be at the wedding together. This could work if your children are still feeling unsure about the wedding and if you and your ex are on extremely good terms having him there may help your children to feel more comfortable about the wedding. Make sure both sets of parents are okay with celebrating this marriage with your ex there. If everyone is not 100% comfortable with it then it is not worth it to create drama on your wedding day.

Do not invite your ex if:

Everyone else is NOT completely comfortable with it!

        This is a day to celebrate the love between you and your fiancé with your closest friends and family members, if someone would not feel comfortable your ex being there then it is not worth it to invite him/her. You two might be in a good friendly spot, but if other people would raise eyebrows the whole night chances are they are only focused on the time they broke your heart, called you names, cheated, made you cry, etc. The list could go on and on but when trying to decide if your ex should be a part of this milestone celebration keep in mind how all of your other guests will feel too.

You’ll be worried about how they will act or worse… their date

        You want to avoid any unnecessary tears or even worse fights on your wedding day. Consider the type of person your ex is both sober and drunk. Also think about whether or not they can be respectful and polite to everyone else who will be attending.

        Inviting your ex also means you’ll have to give them a plus one for obvious reason, but if you are not crazy about who their plus one will be or you have never met their new significant other, you may want to scratch the idea all together.

You’re unsure on how to introduce him/her

        If you cannot confidently introduce your ex to your grandma because it will feel weird, fake, or unnatural then why invite them in the first place? You wedding day is not about making your ex feel comfortable, it is about celebrating your marriage. If the only way you think of this person is as “your ex” then it will be awkward for everyone involved and you should save yourself the stress and not invite them.

Bottom line, it is all about making sure you, your fiancé, and your other guests are going to be comfortable with your ex being in attendance. If you are spending a lot of time contemplating, you are feeling unsure about how they will act, or your fiancé is not okay with it then you should not invite your ex. You need to remember that your wedding is about you and your fiancé and if the focus starts to shift to your ex then it is not worth inviting them.

This post was written by Ring Cam blogger, Bailey Berberich