What do you do if you’re of one faith tradition and she’s of another? That’s a pretty difficult scenario. Do you convert? Forego religion entirely? Start a new faith? Call the wedding off, abscond to Estonia, join a monastery? Not that these aren’t great options, but we have faith (get it?) that you can find a solution to your faith problems. Here’s a list of options. Sit down, pray about it, and take it from there.
1. Have Two Services

It’s not unheard of for some couples to be wed in a Catholic church and then have a private synagogue ceremony a few weeks later. Granted, your family and friends might be a little bitter about having two different services to attend. However, I’d casually tell them that some of us would kill to have two different chances to celebrate a great couple and their awe-inspiring love. (I’m not salty at all.)

2. Combine Services

This complicates things, but it’s worth a shot. You’ll probably have to have the venue outside of a traditional house of worship. See our blog post on destination weddings if that’s the route you’d want to go.
3. Convert

Is your faith malleable? Would you convert to Orthodoxy for this person? We don’t recommend this for everyone, but if you’re only nominally religious, then conversion is a real option. Realize that some faith traditions require pretty rigorous study and introspection before being accepted into the fold. (Meanwhile, you barely passed freshman English.) Are you willing to do this for SO?
4. Just Forget about Religious Services Entirely.

This option lets you effectively sidestep the religious question. You can’t prevaricate over choosing the religious ceremony if there isn’t one. It’s the equivalent of your mom taking away the Hot Wheels because you and your brother couldn’t agree on how to divy up the playing time. A civil ceremony might not be particularly romantic, but it does fit the bill without offending anyone in the family. Given 2018’s political and cultural climate, removing points of contention is a stroke of genius. Here’s to you, you sagacious gentleman. Just don’t talk about President Trump around Aunt Margaret and you’ll have a tranquil ceremony and reception.


Religious differences are a potential firestorm and while they may complicate the weddings, they are not insurmountable. Be flexible and open-minded. You just might be able to make this work without swearing off women and becoming a monk. (But, like, don’t knock it till you try it.)