cover photo by: outreachr.com So your best friend just got engaged?! Your excited for her and even more excited that she asked you to be a part of it. But what exactly does being a Maid of Honor mean? What are you supposed to do? Well, You’ve come to the right place. This blog will help you understand where the role of Maid of honor came from, What it means your supposed to do today, and what NOT to do, as well as some extra tips to make your bride happy! Let the Journey begin!   Where does Maid of Honor come from? 11173381946_b65c1e5c58_z photo by:Dave Collier Everything has a story of how it began- Maid of Honor is no different, Long ago (centuries and centuries) marriage used to be done through capturing the bride. During this time, A groom would come and kidnap the bride. The groomsmen and best man were supposed to form a small army fighting off any of the brides relatives. During this time the brides maids were made to all look alike so that angry relatives or jealous suitors would not be able to know who was who. An old superstition also notes, that the reason bridesmaids and groomsmen look alike is so that it would confuse evil spirits so that they would not know who the real bride and groom are. Roman law during this time also stated that there needed to be ten witnesses so the bridesmaids and groomsmen acted as witnesses to the wedding. As marriage progressed into later years it grew towards marriage by purchase or exchange. During this time the groom would pay a dowry to the brides father in exchange for the daughter. During this time, groomsmen and bridesmaids were responsible in protecting the bride and the dowry on the journey to the wedding. The Maid of Honor was also responsible in helping the bride get dressed and to dress her in her wedding wreath. Slowly, in most places of the world marriage has progressed to be about marriage for love. Now days the Maid of honor is still to protect the bride from angry relatives, help her in getting dressed, and even wear matching clothes. However, there is soooo much more that the Maid of Honor is responsible for now days.   What are the responsibilities of the Maid of Honor While there is a whole list of rules and responsibilities for the Maid of Honor to accomplish the important thing to remember is that every bride is different. Some brides may want you to do it all and others may want only a small bit of assistance. For example: if its your sister maybe she wants you to give the speech but her friends to throw the bachelorette party… If its your friend maybe she wants you to do a majority of things but she wants a family member to assist in creating decor for the wedding… or maybe your bride doesn’t have someone to throw her a shower so that is added to your list of to dos. No matter what your responsibilities are the first thing to remember is it is not your day, it is her day. This means ask her what things she wants you to be responsible for. Try to remember that there are many people in your friends life and even though it is her big day, she still has the stress and pressure of trying to please everyone. So if one person wants to plan the bachelorette party and another wants to throw her a shower. RELAX. You don’t have to do it all. you are simply there to do whatever the bride needs and to keep the peace. 🙂 1) Emotional support- Check in with the bride through out the planning stages, listen to her stress and support her in anyway possible. This doesn’t mean bash her crazy aunt who is budding in too much, this just means listen and be understanding about how difficult things may be. It means offering to help in anyway you can, after all she’s one of your best friends right? Bonus points: send her encouraging notes or gift packages.                                                                                                7016641865_d5bd754029_z photo by: Micah Danao   2) Wedding Attire– Assist the Bride in wedding dress shopping and bridesmaid dress shopping as well as paying for the attire you will be wearing to the wedding. (Remember it’s not what you like and what you think looks good but what the bride likes) However if your a busty babe or curvy chick that is worried about a certain aspect of the dress don’t be afraid to kindly voice your concern… the same goes for a very expensive dress that you may not feel like you can afford. Remember the bride is your friend and wants you to feel comfortable but when it comes to something like dress color and length.. that is probably not an area up for discussion.                                                                                                                                      933220861_81d3a81e5d_z photo by: Jodie Wilson   3) Get information out- From addressing save the dates and writing invitations, to telling people when the bachelorette party is and even holding the brides phone to answer last minute questions guests may have on the big day — it is your job to know it all and get the information out to those who need it. The bride is going to have too many people surrounding her to be able to answer all of those questions on her own. it is also good to let people know where the bride and groom are registered.   4) Assist in wedding tasks – This is an area where brides may differ greatly. Some may want you to help pick their color, come to bridal shows, create the seating chart, and even try the cakes. Others may simply want you to be there a week early to put up some last minute decorations or clean up after the wedding. Do whatever you are able to. For example, if you are long distance it may not be possible for you to check out every venue and try every cake… but you can call and set up appointments and look at pictures she sends you of dresses, colors, and venues to join in her excitement. 2251639788_b034252591_z photo by: Joe Shlabotnik   5) Dress/undress the bride- before the wedding you are responsible for helping her into her dress and zipping, buttoning, or tying it up. During the ceremony  you are responsible for the laying out the train so its not wrinkled, holding her bouquet when needed, and making sure the dress doesn’t drag in the dirt. During the reception-  you are responsible for bustling the dress and if need be holding it up in the bathroom. After the reception- if your bride has a getaway dress you are responsible for helping her out of her dress ( because grooms may not have the patience for 100 buttons down the back) and for keeping her dress safe as well as getting it to the place it is supposed to go while the bride is on her honeymoon.                                                           17703005358_7dd947de17_z photo by: Parekh Cards 6) Bridal shower– This is a subject that differs depending on what you read. In my family it is always the job of an aunt or older woman (than the bride) in the family ( one that is not the mother) to throw the bridal shower. Sometimes mother in-laws or an aunt from both sides like to throw one. However some places do say this is the Maid of Honors job so this may be something you want to check with your bride on. Either way… it is important to note that at the shower your responsibilities are to: keep track of all of the gifts the bride received and who they are from, make a bouquet from the ribbons for the rehearsal night (link here), and assist in cleaning up or setting up if needed.   7) Bachelorette Party- It is your job to plan the bachelorette party, but if the bride wants her self or other friends to be a part of the planning make sure you collaborate with them. Also it is your job to pay for yourself and help pay for the bride. You can also ask other bridesmaids to help split the cost of the bride if needed.                                           2799782984_bd50b37332_z photo by: Carolyn Coles 8) Prepare a Toast- Give a speech in honor of the bride and groom 🙂 4056980665_b423ce5c5c_z photo by: lauraandlukas 9) Specific day of responsibilities-  Some of the many day of responsibilities include: holding the grooms ring, signing the marriage license, make sure the bride gets a chance to eat her food,  make sure people arrive on time and know where to go.   10) Be a friend- After all thats why she asked you silly 🙂 so be a good friend and help her make her special day all she’s ever wanted it to be.   What not to do
  • All you need to know here is to not make it about yourself or what you may or may not have at the time. do your best to be there for your friend because this is a time when it is supposed to be about her 🙂
  Now go out there and rock that MOH role!   Research from http://www.maid-of-honor.net/index.php?url=history-maid-honor&category= http://www.brideandgroom.com/wedding-articles/wedding-traditions-2.asp http://mentalfloss.com/article/57821/21-historical-roles-and-responsibilities-wedding-party
Traditions behind Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-History-of-the-Best-Man-and-the-Maid-of-Honor&id=2260818 http://www.realsimple.com/weddings/weddings-planning/maid-honor-checklist https://www.theknot.com/content/maid-of-honor-duties-in-detail https://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/wedding-tips-and-ideas/maid-of-honor-duties.htm