Your fiance has opinions about your bachelor party. That’s just a fact. However, her opinions aren’t necessarily accurate. She envisions you taking body shots off of a stripper’s stomach before tongue kissing a girl named Cinnamon. In her mind, it’s essentially a cut from The Hangover or Project X. In actuality, no one’s bachelor party is that wild or unrestrained, but she’s still convinced that yours is the wildfire that will burn Vegas to the ground. Communicate to her what will be happening at this party. Everyone wins when you do this. You, her, your guests, and the relationship. However, you still need to suck it up and step up to the plate. Here are several ways to best tackle this tricky question, dependent on the nature of your party.
1. Your bachelor party isn’t gonna be that nuts.
She’s envisioning something out of a 50 Cent music video. In actuality, your party will be much more akin to South Park’s World of Warcraft episode. This is an easy fix. Just tell her that you’re actually going to be playing video games and drinking craft beer. Done.
Example: “We’re staying in and playing Catan. Steve’s bringing over some of his homebrew. Strippers? You think any of us can afford strippers?”
2. Your bachelor party is going to be a little nuts.
This is a hair tougher than the previous example, but it’s relatively easy to talk about. Admit that your bachelor party will be wild, but in a controlled sort of way. Yes, you’re headed to the Bourbon Trail and will be hungover for the better part of a week. However, there’s nothing really questionable about what you’re doing. Ultimately, male bonding and borderline alcohol-poisoning are your goals for the weekend. Tell her that.
Example: “Eventually, we’re going to some bars. Obviously, there won’t be any strippers. Honestly, Dave daring Sam to take off his shirt is the closest we’re gonna get to a strip club.”
3. Your bachelor party is going to be a little risque.
Ok, this is where honesty and shooting straight are necessary. If you’re hell bent on going to a stripclub, you need to tell her what’s happening on the night of your party. Don’t lie. However, you need to politely tell her that you’ll be at a stripclub, but you won’t be cheating on her in any way, shape, or form. Basically, you want to give her enough detail to be placated while simultaneously being honest.
Example: “Afterwards, we’ll be hitting some bars and Jeff wants to stop by a strip club. All in all, we won’t stay long. I love you and I would never do anything to jeopardize this relationship.”
4. Your bachelor is going to be an insanely hedonistic Bacchanal.
Just break up with her. If you’re gonna kiss strippers, this relationship is not gonna work out.
Example: “The thought of being able to possibly go to a strip club whenever I want is just too tempting. I like strippers too much. I’m calling off the wedding. On an unrelated note, do you have ten singles?”